Best Funny Stuff

Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground.
Once he’d recovered, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell once more to the ground.
He tried again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.
Finally, the female bird turned to her mate and said. “Do you know what, darling? I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”

My wife was fascinated by the elegant calligraphy on the hand-written menu in a Chinese restaurant.
She took it home and spent months knitting a sweater with Chinese characters down the front.
She was wearing it at a cocktail party when a Chinese physician asked where she got the symbols.
“From a menu,” she admitted.
“Do you know what they say?”
“I’m afraid to ask,” my wife said, “but tell me anyway.”
“Cheap, but good.”

There was an old woman who was on her death bed talking to her granddaughter. She told her “Honey, I could die any minute so I want you to inherit my entire farm, including the Villa, tractors, the farmhouse, all the livestock, and $22,389,630.00 cash.”
“Wow grandma! Thank you. I didn’t know you had a farm and all the wealth. Where is it?”
Grandma replies, “Facebook”

by the way, my name is not funny…

can you show me where is the hoilet pls…