Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time, and she asked, “My name begins with the letter ‘M’ and I pick up things. What am I?” A little boy on the front row proudly said, “You’re a mother!”
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One morning a mother was trying to wake up her son. “Wake up now! It’s time to go to school.” “I don’t want to go to school,” the son replied. His mother said, “Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go to school.” “Okay. One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.” “Not good enough,” the mother replied. “Fine,” the son said. “Then you give me two good reasons why I SHOULD go to school.” “One, you’re 50 years old. Two, you’re the principal of the school.”
A Sunday school teacher was giving her class the assignment for the next week.
“Next Sunday,” she said, “we are going to talk about liars, and in preparation for our lesson I want you all to read the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark.”
The following week, at the beginning of the class meeting, the teacher said, “Now then, all of you who have prepared for the lesson by reading the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark, please step to the front of the room.”
About half the class rose and came forward.
“The rest of you may leave,” said the teacher, “these students are the ones I want to talk to. There is no Seventeenth Chapter in the Book of Mark.”