Best Funny Stuff

I want my mummy…

My doctor said only 1 glass of alcohol a day. I can live with that…

If you think life is bad. How would you like to be an egg?
* You only get laid once.
* You only get eaten once.
* It takes 4 minutes to get hard. Only 2 minutes to get soft.
* You share your box with 11 other guys.
* But worst of all…. The only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother.

So cheer up…..Your life ain’t that bad!!!

Pass it around to someone who you feel can use a good lay, I mean day

What’s the difference between a bird and a fly?
A bird can fly but a fly can’t bird.

I need new hair do…

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”

The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”

Is this the new kid?

I think I need new shoes…

I think if Mr. Bean have a son, we can guess how he looks like…

Don’t get me wrong, as the Doc said I’m not fat, I just happen to be short….